My Story: Sulking in the Corner

 It's been a while since we've had a 'My Story' post. At least two years and three months, before I decided that getting my ARCT was a good idea. It's about time for another one, don't you think?

   So, it goes like this: I'm not spontaneous, and while I like performing (occasionally) now, as an extremely introverted child, that wasn't always the case. Also, I always cried easily. Not proud to admit it -- but it's fact. That should set the stage for this story about... yes, a recital. 

   It was around Christmas. We were attending a small church (the same one we're still going to) that boasted two piano teachers: my teacher (whom we'll refer to as Mrs. A.), who made me feel comfortable with her quiet, elegant, gracious ways, and the male teacher (we'll call him Mr. B.) whose music prowess was, simply put, dazzling. You'd think there'd be some rivalry, but as it was, he lived nearly two hours away, and she was local. However, he did have a few students from our church, and she had a few, and they decided to host a Christmas recital together. (By the way, those are not their real initials!)

   At the start of the recital, Mrs. A. handed things over to Mr. B, who announced that we had no program and no order, but that each student would essentially choose their own slot whenever there was a blank. 

   There is no way to describe how badly that unnerved me! I was already nervous, because a) it was a recital, and b) I was convinced that, with Mr. B's incredible talent, his students were undoubtedly far better than I was. Now, added to that was the fact that I had to make the decision when I was going to go to the front!

   After a couple of students had gone, I worked up the courage to stand. What I didn't see was that someone else had already stood and was walking towards the piano. Mom, however, noticed, and quickly whispered to me to sit back down. 

   That was the last straw. 

   The tears began to flow. And, despite how much I wanted to stop them, they continued to flow when I finally did get to the front and performed. Never mind that my playing itself went well -- I was 100% unnerved, anxious, and convinced that this was the most awful recital ever! 

   After I had played, my friend went and played. But halfway through her song, she drew a blank and completely froze. 

   Guess what we did when the recital was over?

   Found a quiet, dark corner where no one else was, and cried together! 

   If you have to be miserable, it's good to be miserable together. ;)

   Ironically, I later learned that, despite my own analysis of how the recital went, Mr. B was actually impressed with my playing. But puzzled as to why I spent the whole time crying.