Song and Serving

At first, I struggled mentally to find a topic to post about. It would have been easy not to write at all, but it is Friday and New Year's Eve, and I felt that I probably should. But, as it stands, the inner ideals of the artist and the harsh realities of life stand in sharp conflict with each other. As such, I found it difficult to find something positive and encouraging to write about. 

   Then I remembered a conversation I had earlier this year, with one of my dad's friends from church, a man who has become sort of an "honorary uncle" to us young folks. It went something like this:

   I mentioned that I had been very blessed -- my former teacher is one of the best-known figures in the Greater Edmonton music community. I think my words were, "Nearly everyone in the music community in our Edmonton knows the name of [my former teacher]." 

   "Oh," he replied, "just like someday the name Sarah Wiens will be known?"

   I laughed and said, "I hope so." Then I caught myself and said, "That sounds a little vain, doesn't it?"

   He leaned back. "That depends," he said. "It depends if your name is well-known because your goal is to be prominent, or if it's well-known because you served well."

   So, there you have it: my New Year's goal for 2022. To serve, in all that I do. To serve my students and their families well. To serve through continuing to play for church, to God's glory, not mine. Perhaps to serve through the songs I write, though in all honesty, I am not sure whether or not to keep writing songs when I don't know what to do with the ones I have written. 

   So many times I have been selfish in my focus. How many students do I have, and how well are they doing, and how does that compare with the status quo for my industry? How can I make this hymn arrangement a little fancier, a little more impressive? How can I outshine others? But there are a number of problems with this sort of focus -- the first one being that it takes my eyes off the Creator of music, the One Who gave me this gift in the first place for His honour and glory. 

   And, that also ties in with the discouragement I can easily feel when my idealism clashes with stark reality. Because it's not about whether I achieve my dreams, the dreams that are so easily shattered. If the focus is to glorify God and serve others, then it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if I have to find a second (third?) income source (a source more reliable than the arts), if others play better than I do, or if my songs continue to be heard only by the One they were written to. 

   Now I just have to remember to practice what I preach. :) 

   I found this image while looking for a picture to go with this post. I have no clue what translation this is, but the graphics fit perfectly with what I was writing about.